While I was out driving one afternoon, I heard the word “revenge” come into my hearing. Revenge is usually the action a person uses to respond to an offense. I began to think about how the Lord would want his followers to respond to offenses. I’ve had my share of offenses and I’m sure many of you reading this post have too. I know as long as we (followers of Jesus) are here in the earth offenses will come. Jesus warned his disciples that offenses would come, and how his followers should correctly respond to offenses. Then He said to the disciples, “It is impossible that no [a]offenses should come, but woe to him through whom they do come! 2 It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were thrown into the sea, than that he should [b]offend one of these little ones. 3 Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins [c]against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. Luke 17:1-3 (NKJV)
There is a quote about revenge that I found to be true in a simple synopsis. “The problem with revenge is that it never evens the score. It ties both the injured and the injurer to an escalator of pain. Both are stuck on the escalator as long as parity is demanded, and the escalator never stops.” (Smedes, 2020).
I remember a time in my life, when a sister in the church I was attending did something that undermined me to gain favor with the leadership. I was so hurt, and disappointed with this person because I trusted them. I am being transparent because I want to help someone overcome offenses and become that vessel the Lord can use mightily to minister life to others. I have encountered Christians who are holding on to offenses; and don’t understand why they have not grown to spiritual maturity. If you are bound with offenses you are on an escalator going nowhere in your spiritual walk with Christ. It’s time to deal with old offenses and let it go once and for all. I had to take this matter to the Lord in prayer by being honest about my pain, and disappointment. I had to pray for this sister and treat her with kindness each time we were at church. It was hard at first, but I chose to walk in the word…I didn’t talk about her to anyone… not even to leadership until I got my heart right to go to her and then to my leadership. During this time before I went to my sister the temptation to get revenge was there, but it didn’t feel good to my inner man. I chose instead to follow the Matthew 18:15 principle. “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.” The Matthew 18:15 principle is a teaching that our leadership taught and practiced on a consistent basis. This principle if practiced by all in the local church, will resolve many conflicts before they become wars in the Body, it destroys the roots of division. When we are done wrong, we are not to avenge ourselves to become the judge and jury to punish or inflict injury to another person. So many believers try to defend themselves, forgetting his promise that no weapon formed against us will prosper, our vindication comes from the Lord. (Isa. 54:17)
Before I go any further, I will define some words that are important to understand about revenge and how we are to let the Lord be our vindicator.
The initial emotion of offense is an unconscious emotional reaction, it’s what you choose to do with the offense is your choice. Immediate forgiveness is the best emotion to practice in that moment. Harboring an offense is a choice that is both destructive and damaging to yourself, physically emotionally and spiritually. Smart remarks, or sarcasm are two ways people choose to retaliate when they are offended. I had someone say to me once that they knew how to get back at others, by being nice-nasty…. Holy Spirit spoke to me quickly “there is no such behavior for the believer, either you are nice or you are nasty.” I spoke those same words to that believer. I don’t know whether they received it and began to practice it; but I did and I often think of that moment when I am faced with how to respond when I am offended. Another area we as believers must deal with is not to be so easily offended. I have encountered believers who were so sensitive that everything that happens to them is perceived as an injury or an insult to them. It is very difficult to develop a lasting relationship with such a believer because you are constantly on guard on what to say…it’s like walking on eggshells; as the old saying goes. I like the principle of “agreeing to disagree.” As believers we are not going to agree on everything… it’s okay; but we must choose to walk in love and make that our highest priority with others. When we live in the offensive, revenge zone we are doing much damage to ourselves, emotionally as well as spiritually.
Offense: (the state of being insulted or morally outraged.) Although the below definition refers to playing a sport; in my opinion this is how most people handle an offense.
(the means or method of attacking or of attempting to score) payback.
Revenge: to avenge oneself or another, to inflict injury in return for an offense.
Vindicate: to avenge, to justify, to defend.
Romans 12:17-19 gives believers some instructions on how we are to conduct ourselves:
- Repay no one evil for evil
- As much as possible live at peace with all men
- Beloved do not avenge yourselves, vengeance belongs to the Lord he will repay
As I was gathering my thoughts together to write this post, I heard Holy Spirit say to let his people know “The Lord is your vindicator.” He wants to defend us when the enemy comes in ways that brings us hurt and pain. Often it is those closest to us that will offend us; but choose to still see them as your brother or sister not as an enemy, in spite of how they act or react. It is so important to our spiritual well being that we don’t avenge ourselves by punishing, payback, or inflicting injury on others; revenge should never be a part of our spiritual nature. Quietly wait on the Lord to do his work in you and the other person. He wants to be your vindicator, get out the way and watch him work to bring justice, favor and spiritual fruit in your life. We have a choice to make each time we experience an offense, let us choose God’s way which is the only and right way.
Blessings to all,
GotWord
GotWord 